THE BEST OF

University of Arizona Police Beat

Even though I no longer attend the U of A, these are just some classic reports of idiots, perverts, and strangeness on a college campus. These are all actual reports taken out of police records, reprinted in the university newspaper, and collected by yours truly. Enjoy.

A woman who reported her car stolen Friday evening later realized that she simply had forgotten where she had parked.
At 6:31 p.m., the woman called police to report the theft of her 1985 Dodge Daytona coupe.
The woman told police even though she normally parks her vehicle on the third level of the Second Street garage, she parked the car on the second level of the garage at 3 p.m.
When she returned to the garage at 6 pm, she said the vehicle was gone. No broken glass or other evidence was found in the area.
Later that night, at 11:35 pm., an officer was patrol- ling the garage when he noticed the missing vehicle parked on the ground level. Police called the owner, who said she apparently forgot where she had parked.

An employee told police Friday her car had been vandalized with packets of Carl's Jr. ketchup.
The damage to the vehicle was unknown. Police have no suspects.

A skinned cow head was found on the front porch of Alpha Kappa Lambda fraternity, 1449 N. Cherry Ave., Wednesday morning.
A member of the fraternity found the bloody head on the porch at 5:30 a.m., and said it could have been placed there sometime after 1 a.m. The member could not think of anyone who would have put the head on the porch.
Police have no suspects.

A bicyclist was injured Monday evening when he was launched head first into a dumpster after hitting a curb at high speed.
Witnesses said, at about 5:48 pm, a Ford Explorer was turning left into Babcock Apartments, 1717 E. Speedway Blvd., from East Helen Street.
The vehicle stopped in time to avoid hitting the bike, but the cyclist swerved right in an evasive maneuver. The bike then hit a curb, throwing the cyclist into a garbage dumpster. There were no apparent damages to the bicycle.
No citations were issued.

A university employee suffered chemical burns to his anus Thursday at his work place on the 1200 block of North Mountain Avenue. He was treated at University Medical Center and was released.
The victim told police he was using a toilet about 5 p.m. and was burned when liquid from the bowl splashed on him.
American Building Maintenance Company, the cleaning corporation, reported to university risk management that the solution was one of two base cleaners called Blend Center 256 or Bowl Cleaner. Police found cleaning solution in the bowl. The company apparently did not flush, police reported.
The victim met police in the building bent over with his pants down. The reporting officer noted that he did not personally examine the injured area.

A male student reported a man who masturbated in front of him in the Modern Languages Building restroom.
The victim told police he was washing ink off of his hands in a first-floor restroom about 5:20 p.m. when he looked into a mirror and noticed a man staring at him.
When the victim turned around, he told police that he saw the man "jacking off." The man continued to masturbate for about 10 minutes until he ejaculated on the floor.
The victim told police he did not fell threatened by the suspect who appeared to be masturbating for his benefit.

A man was arrested after he reportedly solicited oral sex from a herd of horses.
Police are seeking charges of criminal trespassing against Charles D. Rogge, 41, of the 100 block of North Bella Vista Drive.
A male witness told police Monday he saw Rogge coaxing horses toward him in the pastures at the Campus Agricultural Center, 4101 N. Campbell Ave. The witness said he though Rogge appeared to be ex- posing his penis to the horses when he placed the food near his crotch area.
An unknown female witness initially reported the incident to the center's director.
Rogge received a warning from police in June for the same type of conduct.

(this next article occurred 3 years later. it was a complete article, not just a police beat report.)

University police arrested a Tucson Man Monday night on charges of criminal trespass after an employee reported seeing him trying to coax a horse into licking his genitals at a UA agriculture center, police reports stated.
It was the second time in four years that the man, Charles D. Rogge, 44, of the 3000 block of North Mountain Avenue, had been arrested for trespassing at the site by university police after allegedly soliciting oral sex from farm animals.
Police arrived at the University of Arizona's Campbell Farms, 4101 N. Campbell Ave., about 9 p.m. and spoke with an employee who told officers he watched Rogge put hay in the palm of his hand and attempt to lure the horse toward his groin area, police reports stated.
The employee told police it appeared Rogge was trying to get the horse to lick his penis, reports stated. He said Rogge's pants' fly was open but he did not see Rogge's penis.
According to police reports, Rogge told officers, "I was touching the horse in a way that would arouse me.
"I would let the horse brush down here," he reportedly told an officer while pointing at his crotch.
Police cited Rogge on a third-degree criminal trespassing charge, took him to his house and released him. Rogge pleaded guilty to one count of third-degree criminal trespassing following a similar September 1994 incident. He was ordered to attended counseling, which he completed, a Pima Country Justice Court spokeswoman said yesterday

A 14-year-old boy was referred to county juvenile authorities for exposing his penis to at least five women and assaulting one of them.
The boy faces charges of sexual abuse, indecent exposure and public sexual indecency. He confessed to the crimes Monday at UAPD.
Three women reported that they were individually harassed Friday by a boy on a bicycle. The first victim told police the boy masturbated in front of her near the Highland Avenue pedestrian tunnel.
When she asked him if he wanted her to call the police, he answered yes. He later lied to her about his name and high school. He then rode off on his bicycle.
Another victim told police the boy approached her with his erect penis in his hand and tried to initiate conversation. When she ignored him he rode past her and grabbed her right breast.
The last victim said the boy held his penis while he slowly followed and rode past her in the parking garage about 7:20 a.m.
Police detained the boy Monday after he approached at least two additional women.

A man told police a man gave him a "blow job" in a Main Library restroom Friday.
Police said they did not know why the victim did not verbally or physically resist the advances.
The victim reportedly was using a third floor restroom when he heard someone performing oral sex on another person in the next stall.
The suspect entered the victim's stall and proceeded to have oral sex with him. The police have not charged the man they think committed the sexual assault.

A 21-year-old man who said he "didn't inhale" was arrested for smoking marijuana at the UA football game Saturday.
Police are seeking charges of possession of marijuana against Kenneth M. White of the 2300 block of East Helen Street.
White was reportedly fleeing from a security guard when police caught him in the stadium crowd. Police noticed physical signs of White using marijuana, including the smell of burnt marijuana on his fingertips.
He told police a girl handed him the cigarette. he reportedly said, "I didn't inhale. I just had it to my mouth."

A 21-year-old student was arrested for possession of marijuana Thursday after he was pulled over for speeding.
Police pulled over Eyad Ali Hassan Bukharis, of the 00 block of East River Road, for exceeding the speed limit on North Euclid Avenue.
When asked for his registration police said Bukharis hesitated then opened his glove compartment where a plastic baggie containing a green leafy substance was visible.
Police asked Bukharis what was in the baggie and he responded, "weed."
He was cited and released at the scene.

A UA student was assaulted with billiard balls at Sam's Place in the basement of the Student Union.
The victim said he was playing pool with a friend when the man at the next table began advising them how to play. The victim and his friend said they planned to continue playing their own way and the suspect got upset and began bouncing balls off his table toward the victim.
One victim was hit in the leg by a ball and suffered minor injuries.

A 16-year old Howenstein High school student was injured at the Campus Agricultural Center when he was stepped on by a cow.
The victim was taking a tour of farms last Wednesday with nine other students when the incident occurred. He suffered a punctured lung and was taking to University Medical Center, where he was treated and released.
The boy was injured when he strayed from the tour and entered an individual cow stall. When he was called to rejoin the group the cow became frightened and pushed the boy against the stall wall. He fell to the floor and the cow stepped on his chest twice.
There are no signs posted on the cow stall stating not to enter them.

Police responded to a report Thursday of a naked man wearing a cowboy hat masturbating on a bus stop bench at North Highland Avenue and East Sixth Street.
When the police arrived they found the suspect sitting with his pants pulled down to his ankles and masturbating. Police said when the suspect saw them, he quickly pulled up his pants.
He said he had been drinking and was on his way home. The suspect was taken to the Pima County Jail for processing.

All articles taken from actual police reports printed in the Arizona Daily Wildcat.


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